FIGHTING FOR IT

First of all I want to say a massive THANK YOU!!!!!!!
The feedback I have gotten since Friday has been insane!! I was shitting my pants when I clicked on that little ‘publicize’ button. But what happened after completely overwhelmed me! From friends writing the most encouraging and supportive words to my best friend face-timing me and screaming, ‘I THINK I’M EVEN MORE EXCITED THAN YOU ARE’ to my first ever e-mail subscription. And then the pressure when a few friends wrote ‘I can’t wait till Monday’. It is slowly hitting me. I have started a blog… I HAVE STARTED A BLOG!!!!

Then I began to question myself: What do I write? What do I start with? Do I start slow and build up or do I start with a banger? Should I do it chronologically as in only do personal blog-posts for a while and then travel-posts for example or how in the world do I even do this?

What I wanted to talk about most was grief, but that wasn’t a happy start to a blog now was it? But that was what was on my mind and what I knew I could write about in that moment. But I didn’t want to go that deep yet and I will never post anything that I don’t stand behind 100%. So here I was, having thought about what my first blog post was gonna be and I simply couldn’t decide. And then 1am came around and I got a very sweet message from a friend saying she’s so proud of me and she can’t wait to see where I take this blog and what I do next.

And I knew it was ok to not have it figured out yet. There aren’t any guide-lines… This is my blog. The blog where I get to decide. So it’s okay to have a bad day and not be able to write something inspiring, witty, or informative. It’s okay that I was curled up in a fetal-position all weekend with tea, a hot water bottle, sweatpants, netflix, and that I cried myself to sleep missing my exchange-sister, who had passed away exactly 3 years ago in a bus accident. Sometimes we’re just fighting for it. Saturday I got up to take a walk. I was fighting for it. I was fighting my aching body. Sunday I went out for tea with friends. Even though I cried silently on the subway, I fought and did not instead turn back home and cancel on my friends. I was fighting for myself to get out of the grief I was falling under and I was fighting for everyone that was thinking about that special person as well.

In a way we’re all just fighting for it. Whether it’s that 8am class you woke up for or the 5am gym session you went to cause that’s the only time in the week you’re free – you’re fighting for it. The mother, who didn’t wash her hair to have more time for her kids to the grandparents helping each other down the stairs. They are fighting for it. Whatever it is, we give it our best. As long as we’re trying. It is okay to say no. It is okay to say yes and it’s okay to simply try. Most importantly it’s okay to realize that you’re fighting for it, whether it’s for yourself or for someone else. That’s all we can do. So if you are in a funk or if you’re happy go lucky at the moment, know that I am rooting for you! I will be the mum standing on the sidelines holding pom poms screaming words of encouragement.

You’ve got this! I’ve got this! We’ve got this!

This is it. My first blog-post. Not the start I was expecting on Friday, but 100% me. 100% real. I hope you had a wonderful Monday and therefore a great start into the week. And if not, I know you’re fighting for it 🙂

Thanks for reading.

See you next Monday.

Anja x

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